I've recently been developing a talk, Embody Your Expertise: Why Dealing with Imposter Syndrome Matters in the Age of AI.

One of its central ideas is that, as AI changes the nature of professional work, our value increasingly lies not simply in what we know, but in how we use our expertise.

Our Relational, Moral and Adaptive Intelligence, our ability to connect, exercise judgement and adapt, will become increasingly important.

However, when we feel uncertain about our competence or future success, we often retreat into familiar ways of proving ourselves and for perfectionists, this often means working harder, preparing more, checking everything and trying to eliminate mistakes.

Perfectionism can feel like a route to better performance. Yet it can quietly undermine the very capabilities we need to succeed.

Let me tell you about two people I've worked with.*

 1. The lawyer who was always behind, despite working long hours

A successful lawyer came to see me because his working days were getting longer, yet he was falling further behind his billable hours target.

The constant pressure was affecting his mood and relationships. Even when he wasn't working, he was thinking about work.

Something didn't add up. So I asked, "how can you be working these hours and still be behind on your billable target?"

"Well, I don't actually bill clients for all the hours I work."

"Why not?"

"Because I know a piece of work should only take six hours, but I might spend 10 -12 hours on it. I can't charge the client for all that. It wouldn't be fair. My clients wouldn't be happy with me if I charged more than other lawyers."

As we unpacked this, something important emerged.

He had developed a powerful rule for success:

"If I put in the hours, I'll be successful."

To be fair, that rule had served him well. His willingness to work exceptionally hard had helped him build a successful career. But now it was trapping him.

His sense of professional worth had become so closely tied to the hours he invested that he had lost sight of what actually made his work valuable.

So we began developing his Framework for Success. This wasn't simply about identifying strengths or finding ways to work faster. We explored the deeper beliefs and experiences that had shaped his understanding of success, and began to distinguish between the qualities that genuinely made him exceptional and the behaviours he relied on to feel successful.

We identified his particular expertise, judgement, ways of thinking and working, and the value these brought to his clients. Then we looked at how he could deliberately nurture and develop those qualities, rather than continually trying to prove his worth through hours worked.

As he started to consciously use his Framework for Success, his productivity improved. He became more confident about billing appropriately and started recovering hours in his day.

Problem solved?

Not quite.

He told me something I wasn’t expecting. He missed working with that 'all-in' energy. He loved becoming completely immersed in a piece of work, giving it everything and pushing himself to produce something exceptional. He didn't want to lose that.

The next stage of our work was about helping him distinguish between being driven to work intensely and developing the psychological capacity to choose to work intensely. 

He began to recognise when that deep, immersive work genuinely added value and when it was simply an automatic response to pressure. By becoming more discerning, he could preserve this valuable part of his working style, invest in it intentionally and feel more confident charging appropriately for the time and expertise involved.

He wasn't becoming less committed to excellence. He was learning to take ownership of what actually made him excellent.

2. The finance professional who couldn't afford to stop

Another client worked in finance, in an environment where expectations were exceptionally high and mistakes could have serious consequences for job security.

It's important to acknowledge that, for some professionals, these pressures are very real. Their livelihoods depend on working in cultures where being anything less than flawless can feel risky.

My client was capable and experienced, but she had begun preparing for every possible scenario, checking and rechecking decisions, and spending evenings anticipating what might happen the next day. The harder she worked, the more there seemed to be to worry about.

Her concentration was suffering. Decisions that had once come naturally were becoming difficult. The confidence that had helped her perform was gradually being replaced by self-doubt. She knew she needed to slow down but slowing down felt dangerous.

I reminded her of the familiar analogy of someone trying to cut down a tree with a blunt saw. They keep sawing, convinced they can't afford to stop. Yet the longer they continue, the less effective they become. Sometimes the most productive thing you can do is stop and sharpen the saw.

But for this client, understanding this on a logical level wasn't the problem. The problem was feeling safe enough to put it into practice.

As we explored her relationship with performance, we began to understand why stopping felt so threatening.

She chose to use EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing) to explore the earlier experiences that might be contributing to this fear.

Something significant emerged. Growing up, a quiet afternoon had rarely felt peaceful. In her family, not being busy was judged negatively and could create considerable tension at home. She had learned that being ‘productive’ wasn't simply desirable. It was a way of avoiding disapproval and keeping things calm.

Years later, in a high-pressure professional environment, that old association was being reinforced. Her workplace genuinely demanded high performance. But her earlier experiences were adding another layer of threat, making it particularly difficult to rest, recover or trust that she had done enough.

Our work became about helping her distinguish between the current demands of the present and the fears she had carried forward from the past, associated with these demands. She needed to be able to respond to the real pressures of her job without also being driven by an old fear of what might happen if she stopped. This combination of responding to high demands with the fear of disapproval was exhausting and taking up too much of her focus and clarity.

When the fear has a history

Increasingly, my clients are turning to EMDR to help them understand and work through the origins of these deeply ingrained responses.

Sometimes perfectionism is connected to earlier experiences of criticism, high expectations, conditional approval or environments where mistakes didn't feel safe. These experiences can leave a psychological imprint that continues to influence how we respond to professional challenges.

EMDR can help people process experiences that continue to shape their emotional responses in the present.

As the fear begins to loosen, something else becomes possible. They can begin to trust themselves differently. Not because they believe they'll never make a mistake, but because they become more confident in their ability to respond, recover, learn and adapt.

They begin to trust their ever-evolving potential, rather than constantly trying to prove their existing worth.

From self-control to self-leadership

Both stories illustrate why overcoming perfectionism often requires more than better time management, stronger boundaries or greater self-discipline.

For people who are already exceptionally disciplined, more rules can simply become another source of pressure.

The deeper work involves developing a better connection with ourselves. Understanding what drives us. Recognising when fear is influencing our decisions. Learning when to push and when to pause.

I think of this as moving from self-control to self-leadership. It isn't about lowering standards or becoming less ambitious. It's about freeing up the energy, attention and flexibility that perfectionism has been consuming.

In a world where our expertise must continually evolve, perhaps that's one of the most valuable shifts we can make. From working harder to prove who we are, to trusting our capacity to become who we have yet to be.

* Permission is always sought to share such details

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If you'd like to understand the patterns shaping your own performance, you can book an Assessment & Solution Session.

Together, we'll explore what's driving them and what might help you work with greater freedom, confidence and effectiveness.